Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
