Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
it glows. i had to have it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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