My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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