Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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