how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
