No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
