Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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