His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
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