i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I have fence marks all over my body
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
