I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
