Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
