Can Purell be used as lube?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
