I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
did you just send me my own nude
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
