Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We named our party play list daddy issues
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
