i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
