cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
then he tried to convert me to islam
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
