Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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