Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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