Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
