I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
