Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize