Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
