Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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