I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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