I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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