do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
