I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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