I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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