Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
