I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
