Fine. I'll sleep in my office
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
