its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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