I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Everclear isn't food dammit
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
