Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
