If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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