that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
