She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I wear drunk well.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
