Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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