I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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