so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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