She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
