She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
