before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
