the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
