I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
