mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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