She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
