drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
