And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
