It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize
