we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
